Alex Van Halen says dad gave him first drink at 6 years old; mom thought band’s music was ‘a disgrace’

Alex Van Halen is reckoning with his past in his new memoir "Brothers" about his relationship with Eddie Van Halen. 

Among the many revelations in the book that delves into his life with his younger brother and Van Halen bandmate, Alex writes that he had his first drink of alcohol at 6 years old, and it was given to him by his father, according to People magazine and Rolling Stone. 

"He didn’t give me a pacifier; to placate me he gave me a tobacco pipe," Alex wrote in the memoir, according to People. "I was young when I first realized that alcohol had that effect on me — that it lifted my spirits like nothing else. For people whose bodies react to alcohol the way mine does, it’s like you’ve gone back to the womb. Everything is warm and fuzzy, no matter where you happen to be."

He told The Guardian in an interview he and Eddie "were ‘pros’ [at drinking] by the time we were 13." 

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Alex Van Halen wrote in his new book that his father gave him his first drink when he was 6 years old.  (Fin Costello/Redferns)

Alex told Rolling Stone that by the time he was a teenager, he was drinking "from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to sleep." 

Both of their parents were strict and, while their mother encouraged their love of music — their father was a jazz musician — she wanted them to study classical, not rock. 

"I was young when I first realized that alcohol had that effect on me — that it lifted my spirits like nothing else."

— Alex Van Halen

Their mother’s love of classical music stemmed from her hope for "acceptance into the White world," Alex said, according to The Guardian. Their mother, who was Indonesian, had faced racism both for her heritage and her interracial marriage with their father, who was Dutch, throughout her life. 

He said, for those reasons, she viewed Van Halen’s music as a "disgrace" her entire life. 

In 2021, Alex told Modern Drummer he quit drinking in 1986 after his father, who was also an alcoholic, died.

"When our dad passed away, after our long life of touring and making music [where] there was alcohol involved … I looked at him, and unspoken, I said, ‘I’ll try to make it better.’ So I quit. You do have an obligation and responsibility to [work] without artificial inspiration," he told the outlet, according to Ultimate Classic Rock. 

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Eddie died in 2020 after a long battle with tongue and throat cancer. 

Alex told the Guardian that while he deeply loves his brother, he still struggles with anger at him for not taking his cancer seriously enough. 

When Eddie was first diagnosed with tongue cancer in 2000, Alex said "rather than going to an oncologist, he went to an oral surgeon who used a blade that could fell a tree to cut part of his tongue out. Ed, what the f--- are you thinking?"

Alex also talked about his complicated relationship with original Van Halen frontman David Lee Roth, who he said was his first call after his brother Eddie’s death. 

"I think Dave is laying low right now," Alex Van Halen told USA Today this week. 

Alex Van Halen said both he and younger brother Eddie were heavy drinkers by the time they turned 13.  (SGranitz/WireImage)

"I don’t know his mental state in terms of how he’s dealing with all of this. I was taught early on that the music field isn’t about the notes and things. It’s about relationships, and what we all had (in Van Halen) was deeply entangled."

He said he doesn’t hold Roth leaving the band in 1985 "against him. We’re not here to hold you prisoner. But it was very telling how the dynamic of certain entities got warped by the people around him. Dave was in the middle of (huge success) where he wasn’t thinking clearly, and he would admit that now. That’s the reason I called him first, only to find out that 23 years changes people."

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After the USA Today reporter asked if his conversation with Roth "didn’t go as expected," Alex answered that Roth's "not the same guy. But if he called me right now, I would answer the phone. It’s about human dignity and respect." 

Despite Alex and Eddie Van Halen’s differences with Roth early on – they were concerned with the music while he wanted to be more of a showman – it all worked, and the band became a huge success.

Despite Alex and Eddie Van Halen’s differences with Roth early on — they were concerned with the music while Roth wanted to be more of a showman — it all worked, and the band became a huge success. (Fin Costello/Redferns)

Alex told USA Today he also felt the "spirit of the band ended in 1984" after Roth left and Sammy Hagar joined.

"We did good work after that, but the primary spiritual aspect, the magic, the potential, the looking to the future together, all of that stuff, our mutually strange backgrounds — that’s what made Van Halen," he explained. "Ed and I were outsiders. Dave was an outsider. Those kinds of intangible things make the fabric of how we were tied together."

In "Brothers," Alex is critical of Roth’s musical abilities, saying he would sometimes sing off-key and had trouble with rhythm, adding that the band’s producer wanted to replace him with Hagar early on, according to The Guardian. 

But he also defends the madcap style that he brought to Van Halen. 

In "Brothers," Alex is critical of Roth’s musical abilities, saying he would sometimes sing off-key and had trouble with rhythm, adding that the band’s producer wanted to replace him with Hagar early on.   (David Tan/Shinko Music/Getty Images)

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"He was looking for the Doobie Brothers," Alex said of producer Ted Templeman. "We wanted to be more ‘Led Zeppelin II.' We wanted to improvise. He wanted us to sound just like his haircut – real tight."

Tensions escalated between Eddie and Alex and Roth, then exploded after Eddie collaborated with Michael Jackson on "Beat It." 

Alex said he was even frustrated with Eddie for doing that. 

"What the f--- are you doing playing on that record?" he told The Guardian of his reaction at the time. "Don’t you realize you only have so many great solos in you? Don’t give one to Michael Jackson!’"

In the end, Roth used Eddie’s professional infidelity as an excuse to quit, Alex told The Guardian, and Hagar stepped in. 

Alex and Roth had talked about a Van Halen reunion tour after Eddie’s death, Alex told Rolling Stone recently, but it fell apart when Roth refused to do a tribute to the late rocker. 

Alex and Eddie Van Halen and David Lee Roth, along with Eddie's son Wolfgang Van Halen, toured together in 2015.  (Steve Granitz/WireImage)

"It’s just, my God. It’s like I didn’t know him anymore," Alex told Rolling Stone. "I have nothing but the utmost respect for his work ethic and all that. But, Dave, you gotta work as a community, mother-----. It’s not you alone anymore."

Alex also slammed Hagar for criticisms the rocker made about Eddie in his own previous book.

"‘Are you really that jealous of Ed? Are you really that scared of him?’ That’s how people act when they try to diminish somebody," he told the Guardian. 

But anyone expecting "Brothers" to be full of mudslinging will likely be disappointed. 

"It’s not about the dirt," Alex told Billboard. "If I start throwing dirt, it’ll never end. I think some people would like that; that’s how projects are sold nowadays. I think it divides the audience, and we’re not here to divide. I think the tone of the book and how I want the book to be perceived is more on a spiritual and creative level. That’s why there’s very little, or any, dirt in there." 

He said he wants to "set the record straight" regarding some other "third-party" depictions of Eddie and to show the "sensitive" side of his brother. 

"Brothers" was released Tuesday.