Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom is projected to open to a disastrous $40 million over the four-day Christmas weekend. That is lower than The Marvels, which opened to $46 million over a three-day weekend and is widely considered a five-alarm catastrophe.
In the end, The Marvels only ended up grossing $84 million stateside and another $121 million overseas for a global haul of just $205 million — well, Well, WELL below its production budget.
Lost Kingdom has one advantage over The Marvels: back-to-back holiday weekends. A lot of people are on vacation over the next ten days, and that could give Lost Kingdom box office momentum. Probably not enough to save it. But enough that it doesn’t take The Marvels’ crown for the superhero bellyflop of 2023.
Lost Kingdom’s problems come into better focus when you look at the performance of 2018’s Aquaman.
Over the three-day Christmas weekend, Aquaman grossed $68 million.
Over the five-day holiday weekend (Christmas landed on a Tuesday), Aquaman grossed $101 million.
By the end of the following weekend after New Year’s, Aquaman had grossed an astonishing $260 million. It’s even more astonishing when you consider just how bad that movie was.
Somehow, that garbage movie ended up earning $335 million domestic and $1.15 billion worldwide.
As of right now, Wonka is shaping up to be this year’s big Christmas hit. A first-week gross of $58 million, combined with this weekend’s solid projection of $31 million, shows that families are turning out. Wonka should play well straight through to the New Year.
The musical remake of The Color Purple, which no one asked for, opens Christmas Day and is expected to gross somewhere between $10 million to $12 million.
I wonder what normal people are doing this weekend. Oh, I know, because I’m a normal person… We stay home with “kith and kin” and watch perennial, heartwarming Christmas classics like The Predator (2018), Batman Returns (1992), Trading Places (1983), Lethal Weapon (1987), Die Hard 2 (1990), Eyes Wide Shut (1999), Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005), Reindeer Games (2000), The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996), Cobra (1986), and Invasion USA (1985).
I suppose you could watch It’s a Wonderful Life for the eleventy-millionth time, but what warms my Christmas heart is watching Chuck Norris kill Commies and the bare bewbs of Jamie Lee Curtis. Remember when Jamie Lee Curtis was cool and not so uptight?
We had no idea how good we had it back then, but at least we had it.
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