They called it Mad Max, put a girl in it, and now Woke Hollywood’s staring down the throat of the worst Memorial Day weekend opener in 41 years—since Return of the Jedi in 1983. Before we get to the Sycophant Media’s lamer-than-lame excuse for this failure, we’ll start with the boilerplate…
“Ouch, it’s looking really bad,” reports the far-left Deadline. Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga could post the “lowest opening for a Memorial Day movie in 41 years with a 4-day between $31M-$35M. How the holy heck is that?”
If Mad Max with a Girl “comes in on the low end,” Deadline adds, “the last time a No. 1 movie or Memorial Day opening title filed a 4-day gross take that was lower was back in 1983 when Return of the Jedi made $30.5M.”
Back in 1983, it should be said, a $30.5 million opening was huge. Today, it’s a catastrophe. As of right now, it’s looking like the best Mad Max with a Girl could do is have the worst Memorial Day opening weekend in a mere 40 years, or since Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom opened to $33.9 million in 1984.
I saw both Return of the Jedi and Temple of Doom on their opening weekends. I don’t have a good memory, but I sure remember those two experiences. Man, back then we had it so good we had no idea how good we had it. But at least we had it.
Anyway, the sycophants at Deadline are in a tough spot with Furiosa. The prequel to Mad Max: Fury Road earned great reviews, opened on the perfect weekend for a blockbuster, and with no competition in its action lane. What’s more, it’s based on a successful franchise and Warner’s promoted the living hell out of it. So how does Deadline explain away this breathtaking failure? How does Deadline write around the truth of how stupid it is to make a girl the star of a movie called Mad Max?
In the Sycophancy Hall of Fame, this delicious piece of credibility-selling will earn a wing all its own:
Despite more movies in the marketplace, we’re still feeling the aftermath of the strikes. How is that? Many aren’t in the habit of moviegoing yet[.]
Many aren’t in the habit of moviegoing yet.
How far up Hollywood’s ass does one have to be to come up with a sentence like that?
Previously, these gerbils blamed the faltering box office on a lack of wide releases caused by the strike. That was easily proved a lie by comparing the number of pre- and post-strike wide releases. Turns out there is no lack of product. So now we’re being told the strike somehow took people out of the moviegoing habit.
What!?
Well, then, why were Barbie, Oppenheimer, and Dune 2 so successful? Why is Deadpool & Wolverine about to blow the doors off the box office?
Sorry, sycophants… The problem is not the three-years-gone pandemic, it is not the strike, it is not that people kicked their moviegoing habit, and it is not a lack of product. The problem is…
The product.
With very rare exceptions, the product sucks.
And when you put a girl in a Mad Max movie, all the gushing reviews cease to matter because we can smell the affirmative action a mile away, and we know that movie reviewers, just like the corporate news media, cannot be trusted.
I know, I know… to deflect from the truth of what happened here, people will smear me as a sexist who despises women in any role where they’re not topless or in the kitchen. Sorry, no. My record as a fan of Aliens, Terminator 2, the Resident Evil franchise, Kill Bill, La Femme Nikita, Salt, Long Kiss Goodnight, Mad Max: Fury Road, etc. is well established. So let’s talk about what really happened…
Nine years ago, Mad Max: Fury Road succeeded because it was a bait and switch—a movie promoted as a Mad Max starring Mad Max, but…. It was a bait and switch that worked. It was only after we paid our money that the movie revealed itself as something else: a movie about Charlize Theron’s Furiosa with Mad Max as a supporting character. But Fury Road was so good, we didn’t care.
In between 2015’s Fury Road and this weekend’s Furiosa, the only habit we got into was avoiding gender-swap movies—not because we oppose women in action roles (see my list above) but because, of late, all of these gender-swapped movies suck: the Star Wars sequels, Terminator: Dark Fate, Men in Black: International, Ghostbuster Ladies, etc. In fact, most recent action movies that put women front and center have sucked: The Kitchen, The 355, Charlie’s Angels remake, Resident Evil remake, Wonder Woman 1984, The Marvels…
Again, they don’t suck because of the women, they suck because the kill-joy fascists who produce them are more interested in smug lectures and man-bashing than entertainment.
In other words, all these dreadful movies have conditioned us to stay far away from a Furiosa.
John Nolte’s first and last novel, Borrowed Time, is winning five-star raves from everyday readers. You can read an excerpt here and an in-depth review here. Also available in hardcover and on Kindle and Audiobook.
