Man said he did not like his son-in-law, who's considerably older than his daughter — but then had a change of heart
A man on Reddit was ultimately convinced by others on social media to allow his daughter, son-in-law and grandchild to move into his home, even though he initially did not allow the son-in-law to move in.
On the subreddit known as "Am I the A--hole," a user by the name of "Still-Stormy" asked for advice in a Dec. 7 post titled, "AITA for telling my daughter (who is facing homelessness) that only her and the baby can move in with me, not her husband?"
In the post, Still-Stormy said his son-in-law had lived in the same apartment for many years, but had to move out once the building was sold.
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"The problem is rents have gone up dramatically," wrote Still-Stormy (who did not share his location). He said the couple could not afford any of the apartments they'd come across, as their rent would effectively double.
"My daughter knows she is always welcome at home — granted, a baby complicates things," said Still-Stormy.
His daughter was just 22 years old, he wrote, and he said he "wasn't happy" that she had a baby at such a young age.
The Reddit user asked if he was in the wrong for saying his son-in-law could not move into his house along with his daughter (not pictured) and grandchild after they were forced to move out of their own apartment. (iStock)
"However, I can't stand her husband," wrote Still-Stormy. "I wouldn't invite [him] over for dinner, let alone let him live with me."
His son-in-law, wrote Still-Stormy, was in his mid 30s, and had a criminal history as well as a "hair-trigger temper."
Said the Reddit poster about his son-in-law, "Chronically immature and has one hell of a jealous/possessive streak that has caused strain in their relationship."
Still-Stormy said that he initially assumed this son-in-law would bail once he learned the woman he was dating was pregnant — but "if anything, it made him cling to her tighter," wrote the father. The marriage was just over a year old.
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"Even so, I simply don't want to live with Aaron," wrote Still-Stormy, explaining he wasn't using the real names of family members.
"I don't like him. I don't want him around me. I'd go above and beyond for my daughter and the baby, they can stay as long as they need — but not him," said Still-Stormy.
"Obviously, this has created a rift between my daughter and [me]," the man wrote. "She doesn't want to live separately from [her husband]."
A Reddit user wrote that his daughter, her husband, and their infant child soon would have to move, as their apartment building had been sold. (iStock)
"I told her she needs to figure out alternative arrangements," he said, adding that with the move-out date approaching, his daughter had been "begging me to let them stay."
Initially, Still-Stormy said he put his foot down, saying the son-in-law could not stay there.
"This led to a lot of tears and some angry words," he said. "I also have to think about myself and my own sanity."
"Decisions are always better if planned before the problem occurs."
Dr. Michele Borba, a California-based educational psychologist and parenting expert, told Fox News Digital that the personal situation described in the post — which as of publication time garnered 10,000 reactions and nearly 2,000 comments — was tricky.
"I understand the father’s stance — and with clear rights. Anger issues and criminology are never treated lightly," she said. "But when a baby is involved, the terms change. A baby always takes precedence."
Borba told Fox News Digital that the man should allow his daughter, grandchild and son-in-law to move into his home, "but with clear guidelines."
"[Still-Stormy] should list what specific behaviors he will not tolerate from the husband. Think it through and then discuss those with the two," she said.
The rules should be put in writing, added the psychologist.
If the rules weren't enforced, then the son-in-law needed to move out, said Borba.
"Decisions are always better if planned before the problem occurs," she said.
The man turned to the "ATIA" subreddit to see if other people agreed with his initial viewpoint that he should not let his son-in-law move in with him. (iStock)
On the AITA subreddit, people can reply to posts and indicate the poster is "NTA" ("Not the A--hole"), "YTA" ("You're the A--hole"), "NAH" ("No A--holes Here") or "ESH" ("Everyone Sucks Here").
Users can "upvote" responses they think are helpful and "downvote" ones that are not.
Reddit users largely agreed that Still-Stormy was completely within his rights to not want his son-in-law to move in.
"If she’s adult enough to get pregnant and get married, she’s also adult enough to figure things out."
The vast majority of the responses to Still-Stormy's post said that he was "NTA."
"If she’s adult enough to get pregnant and get married, she’s also adult enough to figure things out. Either she accepts your terms (it’s your house!) or they can stay with friends or his family. Can’t have it both ways," said Reddit user "justsimona" in the top-rated comment.
Another top commenter concurred, saying that Still-Stormy should get his daughter to sign a lease.
"NTA. If she moves in, get her to sign a 'lease.' She doesn’t need to pay you for anything but state in it [that her husband] isn’t allowed on the property," wrote user "murphy2345678."
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This same commenter wrote, "You may come home one day to him moved into your home. If it’s in writing, you can get him removed easier than if it’s not," she added.
‘Age gap’ bothers him ‘the most’
Despite being labeled "Not the A--hole" by Reddit users for his original refusal to have the son-in-law move in, Still-Stormy wrote in an update that he'd decided after all to let his son-in-law move into his home.
In the update to the post, Still-Stormy said that he wrote his initial post in anger and had "exaggerated" his son-in-law's flaws. He said he did not believe that he was dangerous, nor did he ever fear for his own personal safety and his daughter's safety around him.
"It's for that reason I've decided to allow them all to stay with me while they figure things out."
Additionally, the son-in-law's criminal record was from nearly 10 years ago, the man wrote — and he has "not been in trouble with the law since" and has had no issues with employment or paying bills on time, said Still-Stormy.
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"What bothers me the most is the age gap. I can't explain that away or change it. It is what it is," wrote the father.
"It makes me uncomfortable. With that said, people here keep saying he's a predator/groomer, but I just don't see that. I could very well be blind/naive. For now, however, I will defend him in this regard," he added.
Though people on Reddit said the man was not wrong for wanting his son-in-law to find other living arrangements, the user changed his mind — and now will allow the son-in-law to move in. (Tiffany Hagler-Geard/Bloomberg via Getty Images)
In other comments, Still-Stormy indicated the two met at work on a construction site.
Posting his problem on Reddit and sharing it with others, said Still-Stormy, actually helped him realize that his son-in-law was "not nearly as bad as I had built him up in my mind."
"So many people here are imagining a monster. He's just a guy. He means well," wrote the man.
"He's trying. He's still irritating, opinionated, immature and talks too much. But he does try his damnedest to take care of my daughter. He is a capable, present father and loves being one. They are married. He is family," the man added.
A number of people commented that Still-Stormy's daughter and her husband were "a unit" — and that if she moved in, her husband should as well.
"I've started to agree," he wrote. "It's for that reason I've decided to allow them all to stay with me while they figure things out."
Fox News Digital reached out to Still-Stormy for additional comments.
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Christine Rousselle is a lifestyle reporter with Fox News Digital.
