One parenting expert advises parents to 'wait as long as humanly possible'
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Those giving parenting advice often mention setting limits on kids' screen time.
So, what is the appropriate age to give children their own smartphone?
This question isn’t as simple as it seems, according to Dr. Joshua Stein, child and adolescent psychiatrist and clinical director at PrairieCare in Minnesota.
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"It is strongly dependent on a number of factors," he told Fox News Digital. "It is estimated that by age 11, half of children have smartphones, but many families wait quite a bit longer."
Granting your child a smartphone should be a "thoughtful and considerate decision" based on the child's "maturity, development and impulsivity," Stein suggested.
A psychologist encouraged parents to have a "direct discussion" with their child about being ready for a smartphone. (iStock)
"It is likely that you already have some awareness of your child's ability to handle a smartphone appropriately," he said.
If there have already been family arguments about screen time or appropriateness of content, or previous issues with vulnerability online, it is probably a good idea to wait a bit longer, the expert advised.
Fox News Digital also spoke with Titania Jordan, chief parenting officer at Bark Technologies in Atlanta — who recommended that parents "wait as long as humanly possible" before introducing smartphones.
"No parent I’ve ever talked to — and I’ve spoken with thousands over the past decade — has ever wished they had given their kid a phone sooner," she said.
"Granted, I know this isn’t always possible."
Most children are exposed to pornography online by age 9, one expert warned. (iStock)
Jordan, author of the book "Parenting in a Tech World," noted that "every family is different," and that some kids need devices earlier than others depending on circumstances like divorce or extracurricular activities.
"If and when your child needs to communicate digitally with trusted contacts and you need to track their location, opt for safer tech," she recommended.
Both experts suggested alternatives to the traditional smartphone, including smartwatches, flip phones or other cellphones without internet access.
Making the decision
A "valuable first step" in making this decision is to evaluate how screen time may have previously impacted the child and family, Stein recommended.
"Previous behavior on a video game system, a parent's smartphone or a [school laptop] can demonstrate if a smartphone would be problematic for your child," he said.
Even prior to age 10, many children have already accessed inappropriate websites or struggled with too much dependence on screens, according to the expert.
"This is an indication that they are not ready for the conscientious self-management of a smartphone."
A "valuable first step" in making this decision is to evaluate how screen time may have previously impacted your child and family, one expert recommended. (iStock)
To help parents decide if their children are ready for a phone, Jordan suggested exploring the following questions.
- Does the child obey current screen time rules for TV and video games?
- Does he or she keep up with schoolwork and know how to prioritize responsibilities?
- Does the child frequently lose or misplace things?
- Does he or she get distracted easily?
- How well does the child handle conflict and learn from mistakes?
"Kids are going to make mistakes, but the potential for danger with phones is very high."
"Kids are going to make mistakes, but the potential for danger with phones is very high," Jordan noted. "They need to understand and accept the consequences for missteps online."
This decision can provide an opportunity for parents to discuss their family’s morals and values, Stein said.
"Every family has differences and distinctions in their expectations and their toleration for risk," he added.
Parents should let their children know that not allowing them to have a phone is not a punishment — but a safety decision, according to experts. (iStock)
"This can be a hard conversation, as a child's friends may have access to exciting technology earlier," he added. "Parents can reassure their child that their time will come, but not yet."
Parents should also tell their child that the decision is based on safety and is not meant to be a punishment.
"Allow your child to explain how they may use the phone safely and appropriately," Stein suggested. "This also allows a child to start to demonstrate that they are mature enough."
Cellular consequences
The "obvious and profound" risks of having a cell phone too early include predation and the viewing of adult material, Stein pointed out.
There is also the concern about how screen time will impact the child, according to the psychiatrist.
A Gallup study from 2023 found that teens who had more than five hours of screen time per day were 60% more likely to express suicidal thoughts or harm themselves. (iStock)
"There is evidence that children who have excessive screen time or access to social media at young ages are more likely to be depressed or anxious," he warned.
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Another "significant concern" is that kids may waste time online rather than participating in sports, theater or other extracurricular activities, according to Stein.
"They may be doom-scrolling through short videos and snippets of other people's lives," he said. "Screens can rapidly substitute living your life with watching somebody else’s."
"There is evidence that children who have excessive screen time or access to social media at young ages are more likely to be depressed or anxious," one psychologist warned. (iStock)
Parents should teach their children that what they see online is an "idealized self," Stein emphasized, and often not reality.
"It is easy to quickly feel inadequate based on the flashy and altered presentations that people share," he said. "Explore your child's awareness of this concept."
Mental health advisory
In 2023, U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy released an official advisory about the impact that smartphones and social media can have on teens.
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Social media access increases the risk of cyberbullying, depression, sleep-related concerns, self-harm and body image issues, the notice warned.
A Gallup study from 2023 also found that teens who had more than five hours of screen time per day were 60% more likely to express suicidal thoughts or harm themselves.
For parents of kids who use smartphones, weekly check-ins are a "necessity," a psychologist said. (iStock)
Those children were also 2.8 times more likely to hold a negative view of their body and 30% more likely to report "a lot of sadness."
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Stein emphasized that parents should monitor their children’s phones to help regulate use and protect their mental health.
"Weekly check-ins are a necessity."
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Parents may be surprised by the language their children use, the websites they access and how easy it is for strangers to contact them, Stein warned.
Families should stress that there is always an "open channel of communication" regarding smartphone use, and that anything inappropriate or threatening should be reported, he said.
"It is important that your family values are conveyed in these situations rather than dismissed by avoidance of a hard conversation," a psychologist said. (iStock)
Parents should also remind kids that online posts are permanent.
"Children cannot make the same mistakes that pre-digital generations could," Stein said. "An inappropriate post could follow them for the remainder of their life."
Jordan encouraged parents to talk to kids about the real-life dangers that come along with smartphone use.
The expert also suggested that parents use a third-party monitoring app that scans the child’s phone for threats and that they keep up with popular social media platforms.
Angelica Stabile is a lifestyle reporter for Fox News Digital.
