Lottery winner won't give brother big chunk of money as family is torn apart: 'Accused me of being selfish'

Sudden windfall has family torn to shreds as sister strives to do right thing

A woman writing on Reddit about a personal dilemma involving a lottery win and a financially desperate brother was deemed "not in the wrong" by the majority of other users on the social media platform who sided with her pragmatic and thoughtful view of the matter.

The post has received 3,600 reactions and some 1,500 comments in less than a day.  

Describing herself as 28 years old, the woman, calling herself "Vedoric," wrote that she "recently won a significant amount of money in the lottery. It wasn’t a jackpot, but it was enough to make a big difference in my life — around $500,000 (pretax)."

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She said she's always "been pretty careful with money, and I plan to use it to pay off my student loans, put a down payment on a house and maybe start a small business I've always dreamed of."

Then a family member found out about her winnings — and things got complicated, apparently.

cash being held in a hand

A woman shared that she "recently won a significant amount of money in the lottery. It wasn’t a jackpot, but it was enough to make a big difference in my life — around $500,000 (pretax)." (iStock)

"My brother … found out about my winnings through our parents," she wrote about her 32-year-old brother. 

"He’s been struggling financially for years due to poor money management and some bad luck, and he has a lot of debt."

"I’ve seen him blow through money before."

The brother called her, she went on, "and congratulated me — then immediately asked if I could help him out by giving him $30,000 to pay off his debts and get back on his feet."

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The sister wrote that she "sympathized," but "I feel like giving him such a large amount of money won’t really solve his problems in the long term."

She said she's "seen him blow through money before, and I worry that this would just be another cycle."

stressed man

The 32-year-old brother (not pictured) of a lottery winner asked for $30,000 from his sister to help him pay down debts. But the sister is refusing to give him that kind of money as others dished out advice.  (Cyberguy.com)

So she told him, she wrote in her post, that she'd be "willing to help him create a budget plan and even give him a smaller amount, like $5,000, to help with immediate needs, but he got really upset."

She said that "he accused me of being selfish and not caring about family."

"I feel conflicted because I do care about my brother."

The woman added that her parents "are split on the issue. My mom thinks I should help him out because ‘family helps family,’ but my dad agrees that my brother needs to learn to manage his own finances."

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She wrote on the platform, "I feel conflicted because I do care about my brother, but I also believe in being responsible with my money and making sure it lasts."

So, she asked others, was she wrong for "not giving my brother a larger portion of my lottery winnings despite his financial struggles?"

money in a wallet

"It is your money to do with as you wish. After taxes, it will seem to be a lot of money. But do the math [about] your own expenses in your life, and you will realize it won’t last nearly as long as it might seem." (iStock)

Fox News Digital reached out to a psychologist for thoughts on the matter.

A Reddit user, in the top "upvoted" comment on the post, wrote, "It is your money to do with as you wish. After taxes, it will seem to be a lot of money. But do the math [about] your own expenses in your life, and you will realize it won’t last nearly as long as it might seem."

"If you want to help out, buy him a grocery store gift card so he can buy food or gas."

The same writer added, "It’s a good buffer to give [yourself] some room to feel more comfortable taking some risks and pursuing your own life goals. Take advantage of that, protect it, and ignore the noise from others."

Said someone else more bluntly, "Most lottery winners end up bankrupt because they feel like they have to give money to every rat that crawls out of the woodwork."

This same person deemed the original poster not in the wrong for her decisions. 

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"He [the brother] will blow through any money you give him and be back for more. If you want to help out, buy him a grocery store gift card so he can buy food or gas."

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Someone else offered a much more direct piece of advice for this lottery winner and any others in the future.

"Never mention a sudden windfall to anyone."

Maureen Mackey is managing editor of lifestyle for Fox News Digital.

Authored by Maureen Mackey via FoxNews August 4th 2024