Woman said her daughter-in-law began crying when she learned her children went to a Disney park without her
A grandmother who took her grandchildren to Walt Disney World for their first visit when she was unexpectedly forced to babysit the kids for multiple days did nothing wrong and was right not to apologize to her daughter-in-law, said social media users as well as a family therapist.
Reddit user "Simple-Band-9096" revealed the situation on the AITA ("Am I the A--hole") subreddit in a post on Thursday, March 7, asking, "AITA for taking my grandchildren to Disney for the first time without their mother and refusing to apologize when confronted?"
Fox News Digital also interacted with the poster via Reddit's messaging feature to learn more about the story; the woman lives not far from Disney World.
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In the post, the woman said her son asked her to make a Reddit account and share the story, "because he claims my normal meter is skewed and the internet is going to tell me" she's wrong, she wrote.
She said, "I recently babysat my grandchildren (5 and 4) for a period of four nights and five days so my son and his wife could attend a wedding in Mexico, and spend a few days on vacation."
A grandmother who was "manipulated" into babysitting her grandchildren took them to Epcot while they were with her (not pictured) — which greatly upset her son and daughter-in-law. (Joseph Prezioso/Anadolu Agency via Getty Images)
Initially, the woman said she did not want to babysit her grandchildren for that long a time period — and told her son and daughter-in-law that she was not comfortable doing so.
"It seemed like a long time to watch the kids, and she has point-blank told me that the woman's family is more important than the man's, so I was irritated I was being asked" to babysit the kids, yet the daughter-in-law's mother was not asked to do, the woman wrote.
But Simple-Band-9096 changed her mind and agreed to babysit the kids after her son "became very emotional," she shared. Even so, she felt that they were being manipulative.
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Flash ahead to the babysitting time period. While the kids were with her, Simple-Band-9096 said she was invited to a birthday party at Epcot, one of the four main theme parks at Walt Disney World Resort — and wanted to go.
"It didn't even occur to me to run it by my son or daughter-in-law, as I had the kids for an extended period of time and obviously they knew they would be going where I went," she said.
"My daughter-in-law was furious and burst into tears. She said I stole one of her kids' 'firsts' and called me entitled."
In the past, the woman's daughter-in-law said she planned on taking the kids on a multi-day trip to Walt Disney World, but "never made me aware it was something super special to her."
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Added the woman on Reddit, "Also, it was Epcot. It's not like I took them to Magic Kingdom and they had some magical moment of seeing their favorite character."
In follow-up comments, she said she lives about two hours away from the park and they did not need to stay overnight in a hotel.
The mother of the children (not pictured) was very upset that she wasn't the one to take her young kids to Disney World before anyone else did. (Fox News)
When her son and daughter-in-law got back from their trip, they did not take the news of the trip very well at all.
"My daughter-in-law was furious and burst into tears," she said. "She said I stole one of her kids' 'firsts' and called me entitled."
She continued, "To be honest, I didn't react well to being called entitled, when she was the one who previously demanded babysitting."
"My son feels like Reddit is going to show me the error of my ways."
She went on, "My son asked me to apologize as she was distraught over missing their first Disney trip, but I declined and asked them to leave."
The son later asked again for an apology, and Simple-Band-9096 again declined.
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"I know she is a huge Disney person, but it was Epcot, not quintessential Disney and I don't feel I should have had to miss out on a birthday party I wanted to attend," the woman wrote.
"I told my son I am not apologizing for anything and maybe they should think about how they made me feel when they didn't respect my initial 'no,'" she said.
The Reddit user was invited to a birthday party at Epcot, so she took her grandchildren. It was a two-hour drive to the park, she said — they didn't stay overnight and she didn't tell the kids' parents ahead of time. (Joseph Prezioso/Anadolu Agency via Getty Images)
Simple-Band-9096 added, "My son feels like Reddit is going to show me the error of my ways."
Speaking to Fox News Digital, the grandmother said she felt good about the resulting responses to her post.
"I know my son read all the comments and is feeling pretty embarrassed right now," she said.
"It's essential to relinquish some control over how things are done, even if it doesn't meet your expectations."
A family therapist told Fox News Digital that while the daughter-in-law's emotions were understandable, she needed to adjust her views of the situation.
"It's understandable for the daughter-in-law to feel disappointed that she wasn't the one to introduce Disney to her kids," Rachel Goldberg, LMFT, founder of Rachel Goldberg Therapy in Los Angeles, told Fox News Digital via email.
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The daughter-in-law and Simple-Band-9096 already did not get along well, something that may have "heightened" her distress, suggested Goldberg.
"Taking care of two young children for an extended period can be challenging, and if you're entrusting Grandma with that responsibility, it's essential to relinquish some control over how things are done, even if it doesn't meet your expectations," said Goldberg.
The Reddit user noted that she took her grandchildren to Epcot, not Magic Kingdom — and did not understand why her daughter-in-law was so upset. (AP/John Raoux)
The day at Epcot was a positive experience for the grandchildren and their grandmother, said Goldberg — meaning that she did not do them any harm.
"It could be beneficial for the daughter-in-law to reframe her mindset to focus on the joy the children experienced rather than solely on not being the one credited for the outing," she said.
Reddit users largely agreed with this sentiment, saying that Simple-Band-9096 was not in the wrong to take the kids with her to Epcot.
"I hope your son feels humbled here today."
On the AITA subreddit, people can reply to posts and indicate the poster is "NTA" ("Not the A--hole"), "YTA" ("You're the A--hole"), "NAH" ("No A--holes Here") or "ESH" ("Everyone Sucks Here").
Users can "upvote" responses they think are helpful and "downvote" ones that are not.
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While there was somewhat of a debate, most of the 7,000 or so replies to the post said that Simple-Band-9096 was "NTA" — and that, instead, her son was wrong.
"I hope your son feels humbled here today," said Reddit user "BulbasaurRanch" in the top-upvoted comment, saying that Simple-Band-9096 was not wrong about what she did.
Most of the 7,000 or so replies to the post on Reddit said the grandmother who shared her story was not wrong for her actions. (iStock)
"They imposed on you to watch their children. You did exactly as they requested. You’ve done nothing wrong," said BulbasaurRanch.
The user continued, "You are not responsible for your rude daughter-in-law crying. Tears don’t make a person right."
Other users criticized the mentality that placed so much value on experiencing a child's "first" everything.
"My mom has more of my kid’s 'firsts' than I do because I gotta work," said user "BadTanJob."
"That’s life. It was just as magical the second, third and fourth time," added the same user. "DIL and son need to get a grip."
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Christine Rousselle is a lifestyle reporter with Fox News Digital.
