Reddit user kicked out of his house refuses to move back home to care for ailing mother: 'Guilt can exist'

Tricky situation has no 'right' answer, licensed counselor told Fox News Digital

Social media users told a son who was kicked out of the house by his mother and her boyfriend the day after his high school graduation that he is under no obligation to move back in with her now that she is ill. 

"AITA for not wanting to go back home to take care of my sick mom after [she] and her boyfriend kicked me out the day after my high school graduation last year?" asked Reddit user "Last_Astronaut_6032" in a Jan. 24 post on Reddit's "Am I the A--hole" subreddit.

In the post, the user said that last year, the day after he graduated from high school, "my mom and her boyfriend told me that now that I was an adult, I had to move out and find a place of my own." 

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This was "unexpected," said Last_Astronaut_6032, who added that his relationship with his mother "changed drastically when her new boyfriend moved in." 

"I tried to make a good impression because I wanted her to be happy, but the guy just seemed to have an issue with me," he wrote. The boyfriend, he said, "convinced my mom to start charging me rent because I had a part-time job while still in school, even though he was jobless and living off my mom." 

graduation day cap and gown

The Reddit user (not pictured) said that the day after his high school graduation, his mother and her boyfriend told him to move out of the house. Now, the boyfriend wants him back. Why? Because the young man's mother is sick. (iStock)

The boyfriend, wrote the young man on Reddit, would go into his room and use his things without asking — and even broke his laptop, he said.

"My mom saw nothing wrong with his behavior and always took his side," wrote Last_Astronaut_6032. "She would yell at me whenever I complained about how I didn't like him invading my privacy. He seemed very pleased with himself when my mom kicked me out." 

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Last_Astronaut_6032 said he spent the next few months sleeping on friends' couches or outside as he did not have enough money to get a place of his own. (He did not disclose his location.)

"Thankfully, I was able to get a second job through someone I knew, and I was able to save up and I just moved into a new place [at] the beginning of this month after months and months of not having anywhere to call home," he wrote. 

couch with pillows

As the Reddit user did not have enough money for a place of his own, he was homeless and slept on couches for months, he wrote in a post sharing his dilemma with others and asking for input. (iStock)

Then, Last_Astronaut_6032 wrote, things changed. 

His mother's boyfriend would now like him to move back into the house, as his mother has become ill. 

"A few days ago my mom's boyfriend reached out to me," said Last_Astronaut_6032. "Apparently my mom had a stroke and he tried guilting me into moving back to help her out, because he got a job opportunity and has to move."

"I told him that unfortunately I'm too busy trying to be an adult."

The young man said no.

"I told him that unfortunately I'm too busy trying to be an adult, it doesn't look like I can take time off that schedule to do that," he wrote. 

Then he hung up, he said. 

Fox News Digital reached out to Last_Astronaut_6032 for further comment or updates. 

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Courtney Morgan, LPCC, owner of Counseling Unconditionally, a Louisville, Kentucky-based counseling practice, told Fox News Digital that the situation is a tricky one. 

"There is not a ‘right’ thing to do here," Morgan said.

"It is completely valid to be hesitant to step in and support a person after they’ve seriously wronged you — even if that person is your parent," she said. 

"I think it is important to validate and acknowledge that guilt. That guilt can exist without impacting his decision."

Last_Astronaut_6032 "really needed his mom's support, and she kicked him out instead," said Morgan. 

Refusing to help in this situation "may stir up feelings of guilt and shame," said Morgan, even if the decision not to step in is the correct one.

The Reddit logo on a smartphone

Nearly every person who responded to Last_Astronaut_6032's post said that he was not in the wrong for refusing to move back home with his mother. (Tiffany Hagler-Geard/Bloomberg via Getty Images)

"I think it is important to validate and acknowledge that guilt. That guilt can exist without impacting his decision," she said. 

Those who are in a similar situation should "take a moment to consider their core values and beliefs," Morgan told Fox News Digital. "It is important that each individual reaches their own decision that aligns with their values, as that is the right decision for that person."

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Reddit users came to a similar conclusion. 

On the AITA subreddit, people can reply to posts and indicate the poster is "NTA" ("Not the A--hole"), "YTA" ("You're the A--hole"), "NAH" ("No A--holes Here") or "ESH" ("Everyone Sucks Here"). Users can "upvote" comments they find helpful, and "downvote" those they do not.

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Last_Astronaut_6032's post received over 400 comments before it was locked to further replies. 

Nearly every reply said that he was "NTA." 

reddit app logo

Reddit users said that the young man's mother "gets to reap what she sowed."  (iStock)

"It sucks when your mom gets to reap what she sowed," said Reddit user "YouthNAsia63" in the top-upvoted reply. "Your mom kicked you out. It's kinda hard to get over that." 

Others concurred. 

"Your mom made it clear where her priorities are, and where yours should be. Don't feel guilty now that she's had a stroke," said Redditor "Ordinary_Mortgage870" in another reply. 

Ordinary_Mortgage870 continued, "She should have made sure the guy she was banking on was actually a decent dude before leaving her own child out in the cold."

"NTA," said Reddit user "StormyMcGee68," weighing in as well. "He just wants you to take the responsibility because he can't mooch any longer."

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Christine Rousselle is a lifestyle reporter with Fox News Digital.

Authored by Christine Rousselle via FoxNews January 25th 2024