“Francis Scott Off-Key” and Bureaucrats
Who can forget this classic segment from Charlie Steiner on ESPN SportsCenter many years ago?
All-Star Game
On July 16, 2024, Major League Baseball held the 94th All-Star game at the Texas Rangers home ballpark in Arlington, Texas. There was a lot to celebrate in that game in addition to the pure celebration of America’s pastime.
- The Philadelphia Phillies had 8 players representing their team on the National League squad including the three position players who were all elected starters
- Rookie Pittsburg Pirates pitching sensation, Paul Skenes (LSU), was the starting pitcher for the National League
- There were 6 players attending at least their eighth all-star game including Bryce Harper (PHI), Jose Altuve (HOU), Salvador Perez (KC), Freddie Freeman (LAD), Mookie Betts (LAD) and Chris Sale (ATL).
- Aaron Judge (NYY) and Bryce Harper (PHI) were the top vote-getters in each league
- Like Aaron Judge in 2017, Cincinnati Reds phenom, Elly De La Cruz, got his first nod for the All-Star game in his first full season in the majors
Train Wreck
And yet, the most memorable thing to most Americans about the 94th MLB All-Star break was the National Anthem sung by country music “star” Ingrid Andress before the Home Run Derby the night before the All-Star game.
It was not memorable because the Anthem buckled our knees and brought us to tears like that of Lady Gaga at Super Bowl 50, Bela Fleck, Bruce Hornsby and Branford Marsalis, Mariah Carey at the 2002 Super Bowl, Neil Diamond at the 1987 Super Bowl (with John Elway singing along), Luther Vandross and, of course, Whitney Houston at Super Bowl XXV, no, quite the opposite. Andress was excruciatingly bad.
Andress has been nominated for four Grammy Awards, so according to the “authorities” who oversee the music industry, she apparently has talent. Then again, maybe they got it wrong.
Worst Ever?
One can put Andress’ performance into one of a couple of categories. First, there is the “worst ever” category. That would include Roseanne Barr and Carl Lewis (warning: full version) among others who are not professional musicians. These are horrifically bad renditions of the Star-Spangled Banner. Or there is the “worst ever for a professional musician” which includes Fergie, Michael Bolton, Christina Aguilera and Steven Tyler.
Ingrid Andress’ version belongs in the former category – “worst ever.” She somehow managed to incorporate various elements of some of the worst performances into one.
How many of us enjoy the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard or the sound of a screeching child in the grocery store or on an airplane? How many of us relish the sound of a dentist’s drill? I don’t think I’m overstating it. She was that bad.
For a four-time Grammy nominated singer to desecrate our National Anthem in the way Andress did on July 15th suggests that someone out there is not doing their job or maybe the public has bad taste in artists (both are possibilities).
There are many other singers in the United States that are talented, have reverence for the National Anthem and would welcome a stage of that magnitude to display their talent. As an example, the U.S. Coast Guard band recently performed for free in a church in my small town. The young lady who sang the National Anthem was wonderful. Why not her?
Opera singer Timothy Miller regularly performs God Bless America at the 7th inning stretch of Atlanta Braves games. Why not him?
And there are thousands of others more deserving than an overrated Grammy or CMT or MTV award winning hack.
Who are the geniuses in professional sports assigned with the simplest task in the world and then screw it up? Please, seek help, and a new profession.
Preparation
If you are an artist of some fame, warranted or not, who has just been hired to sing the Star-Spangled Banner at a nationally televised, major sporting event, why would you not prepare and take the opportunity seriously? Maybe one secretly wants to become part of a Chris Rock or Dave Chappelle routine.
I’m not trying to be unfairly critical of Ms. Andress, it just does not make sense not to consider the task, especially one as high-profile as this, and prepare. Do great, it was an honor, and no one remembers. What you do not want is to be remembered because you have enough self-awareness to know that you’re not Whitney Houston and you’re not at the Super Bowl.
Given that you have the opportunity and luxury of looking at all the modern-day failures and successes of National Anthem performances on YouTube as I have partially linked above, can you really be so mentally deficient not to do a little preparation and homework (that would include not showing up stinky drunk)?
Like throwing out the first pitch at a baseball game, take a few practice throws before walking out to the mound. Ingrid Andress’ performance was the first pitch equivalent of Anthony Fauci. It was an epic scorpion face plant. Or, as Charlie Steiner said quoting Dirty Harry, “A man’s got to know his limitations.” Like Carl Lewis, she did not see Magnum Force.
Bureaucrats
Even though it is on display 24-7 on C-Span 1, 2 and 3 as well as highlights in main stream media, government officials, elected and otherwise, continue to impress us only with their willingness to display their “Ingrid Andress”. Leadership, in most cases, is like youth. Youth is wasted on the young. Leadership is wasted on people who are the least capable of it.
That fact is a testament to just how resilient the people of our country are, how durable our Constitution is and the strength, although imperfect, of our form of government.
Warren Buffett once said, “I try to invest in businesses that are so wonderful that an idiot can run them. Because sooner or later, one will.”
Amen to that.
