GREG GUTFELD: 'Cultural dementia' seems to come over the Democrat media whenever their causes go south

Oh, yeah. All right, that's enough. You shut up over there. Happy Thursday, I believe it's Thursday. So there's a curious sickness going around, and for once, it's not Kilmeade, but there seems to be no cure. I'm calling it cultural dementia, an affliction that seems to come over the Democrat media class whenever one of their latest causes goes south. And by south, that includes fleeing New York for Florida. But they are the media, so whatever they get, it's contagious, spreading faster than Whoopi's legs in a hotel pool. There is a backstory to that joke. So it wasn't just some kind of indiscriminate, disgusting comment. She did claim that she liked to have sex in pools. So, I'd direct your letters to her for that image.

NYC MAYOR ADAMS SAYS MIGRANT CRISIS THREATENS TO ‘DECIMATE’ CITY AS HE APPEALS FOR FEDERAL HELP

So, do you remember the Duke lacrosse scandal? Well, you're not supposed to. That's when a bunch of white frat boys were accused of raping a black stripper. Predictably, the media went wild. The only problem was it never happened. The only person who ended up going to jail was the prosecutor. Oh, and the stripper, she's in jail for murder. And worse, she never writes back. How about the covenant kids? Remember that, when those Catholic kids were portrayed as racists for hassling a Native American man? I almost said a naked American man. That would have been more interesting. But then video turned up showing that he was actually hassling them first, that he turned out to be a serial liar claiming Vietnam vet status when Jane Fonda spent more time overseas than he did. I assumed after that the media would learn their lesson, but then there's Jussie. And then the media fell back in line, pushing their two on the nose manicured hoaxes. Then came Russian collusion and Hunter's laptop. 

Jussie Smollett was charged with disorderly conduct and filing a false police report in February 2019, after he was accused of orchestrating a fake hate crime. While he was found not guilty in March 2019, he was charged with six new counts of lying to the police in February 2020. He was found guilty on five counts, and was sentenced to 150 days jail time and ordered to pay a fine of $145,000. (Photo by Chicago Police Department via Getty Images)

I could go on and on and on, but I don't want to bump "Fox & Friends First" and shock all their meth head viewers. But there's another big bad memory they want you to forget, but yet it still lingers like a fart in a shower. And it's because of its horrible consequences. Of course, defunding the police. It started with "The Squad," the birthplace of all mentally deranged ideas. And at the time, of course, the left and their media lapdogs loved it. Remember Kamala offering to bail out rioters during 2020 Summer of Love? It's the last time she ever did anything of accomplishment. BLM raised enough money to put thousands of cops on patrol. Instead, that money went to mansions and swimming pools. Yes, it was going to be a brave new world where we all just got along, where criminals helped little old ladies cross the street instead of knocking their teeth out and taking their purses. But then a funny thing happened or not so funny depending on your zip code. Reality came. 

FORMER NFL PLAYER JACK BREWER TORCHES CALIFORNIA'S COSTLY REPARATIONS PUSH: 'IT'S ABSOLUTELY INSANE TO ME'

Turns out defunding was the worst idea since Hunter said, hey, let's record this. San Francisco, L.A., Chicago, Philly, Baltimore, Saint Louis, New York, our major cities look scarier than the entire cast of "The View" waking up on a Sunday morning. Our police academies became as empty as a freshly looted Walgreens and the subways as gross as Johnny Depp's teeth. And it wasn't just major cities. In Goodhue, Minnesota, recently, the entire police department resigned. Granted, it's six people, but still. And right on cue, just as this chaos becomes an election issue, Democratic memory loss returns. 

Suddenly, we're told they didn't mean defund. Yeah, well, you didn't think we were serious, did you? Those were just the weirdos from "The Squad." Which is like the mob blaming their hitmen. They do your ugly work so your hands look squeaky clean. Blame "The Squad." But don't be fooled, nothing's changed. Today, we've just got defunded by different means. Call it soft defunding, bail reform has meant that shoplifting just passed pickleball as the nation's fastest growing sport. True. I mean, it's easier on the knees unless you're carrying a flat screen. And of course, our border security is about as reliable as Brian Stelter's food diary. Our downtown looks like scenes from the Afghanistan withdrawal or worse Kat's office.

A BLM protester reflects a ''Defund The Police'' message of projection to the Oakland Police Department's wall as almost a thousand of people are gathered at the Oscar Grant Plaza and take streets over Tyre Nichols killing by Memphis police, in Oakland, California.

So what's the solution? Is it all going to get better? How about this for an honest answer? No, this is it. It's the new normal. And it's about as normal as Rachel Levine singing I Am Woman Hear me Roar. Meaning the new normal used to be the old abnormal. It's flipped thanks to the mentally ill and delusional left. So if you live in a city, and you're okay with that, fine, but if not, you've got two options. You can fight back like these guys did, or like Daniel Penny, or you could end up like Daniel Penny. Now you'll be the one who ends up with felony charges. Then that leaves option two, which is to leave because, frankly, I'm out of ideas. But if you have an idea, you can use the suggestion box, we do have one, you know, if someone hasn't stolen it.

Greg Gutfeld currently serves as host of Gutfeld! (weeknights, 11PM-12AM/ET) and co-host of cable news’ highest-rated program The Five (weekdays, 5-6PM/ET).