Gutfeld unpacks the 'war on observable facts'
Happy Monday, everybody. So over the years, politicians have given us a number of policy wars. We've had the war on poverty, the war on drugs, the war on terror. None worked, but at least Kat's not allowed to fly. But today, the Biden administration is giving us a new war. Call it the war on observable facts, or WOOF. Thank you. Here are the results. We have a border that works less than Kilmeade's breath mints, inflation more stubborn than a mule trying to learn break dancing, and a crime wave that makes the purge look like Bible study with Shannon Bream.
So by what metric does Team Biden think all of this is working? What the White House calls their major policy initiatives, the rest of us call "ideas going over like a full diaper on a packed flight." They're peeing on your foot and telling you it's raining, which is why I stopped showering with Kudlow. Does anyone see evidence of a course correction? A willingness to maybe switch it up a bit? Nope. Maybe they hope we've all been so distracted that we won't even notice, but we're at a point that we have to ask ourselves, are all these outcomes by design? Now, I'm no conspiracy theorist, although I'm this close to proving Bigfoot was on Epstein's island. But clearly, when something isn't working and a group of theoretically intelligent people happily double down on it, there must be an explanation. And we have a few.
One is the idea of fractal wrongness, the idea that your worldview is so wrong that you'll be wrong 100% of the time. This helps explain how people think letting murderers out of jail will somehow make us safer. The other is that there's a net benefit to them in destroying this country. On the border, we've had millions of illegals walking into the country where they're guaranteed pretty much everything but a knob job from Sofia Vergara. It's now becoming clear that many of them are criminals. Organized shoplifting and robbery crews are operating in all our major cities. If they pulled that in Venezuela, they'd be put in jail, then sent back to America. Prison gang bangers assault our cops and shoot at them. Monsters allegedly kill our young women. Which brings us to Laken Riley. Maybe her murder will finally force the question: why does this keep happening?
LAKEN RILEY MURDER SUSPECT JOSE IBARRA LIVED WITHIN 5-MINUTE WALK OF UGA CRIME SCENE
Well, according to the AP, it's about the dangers of running alone. Seriously, here's their headline,"The killing of a nursing student out for a run highlights the fears of solo female athletes." It's as if she died from shin splints. And in that piece, they called the suspect an "Athens resident," not an illegal immigrant who'd been arrested multiple times. You know, that's like calling Hitler a vegetarian from Austria. So only when someone escalates to murder do they finally get held and risk deportation. Do you think that would be the story? And it should be the story that sinks that administration. Because when Biden refuses to take simple steps to secure the border, like, for instance, reinstituting "Remain in Mexico," you have to ask what I call the NLQ- the next logical question. Is this what they want? Is the policy actually designed for open and unchecked borders? Is it so we finally get better soccer players and win the World Cup?
The same goes for the crime and disorder in our cities. People forget that in 2022, Joe Biden introduced his major national anti-crime initiative, the Safer America Plan, SAP for short. It might as well stand for stabbed and pummeled. In SAPS we were for believing it might help. His anti-crime initiative actually made us less safe. What's next? Fighting chlamydia by having sex with a stripper? Trust me, it doesn't work. So our cities remain unpoliced dystopias. And if Blacks are killing more Blacks and the left does nothing to stop it, then again, you got to ask why. If homelessness keeps growing dramatically and you do nothing to stop it, why? If human trafficking is an observable outcome from illegal immigration, yet illegal immigration continues unabated, why? If inflation's high, but you keep forgiving student debt and proposing expensive legislation, why? If a president whose brainwaves are flatter than the View's seat cushions. But we continue to pretend otherwise. Why? You see what I mean?
Our nation's precious talking heads, they love to repeat the same cliche, do the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. No, it's not. Doing the same thing over and over again, and denying the outcome is intentionality, not insanity. Now, I could posit theories that deep down, they want to destroy our major traditions and institutions that, you know, like lunatic drill sergeants, they want to break us all down so they can rebuild us in their image. But that's like putting Megan Fox under the knife so she'll end up looking like Madonna. It's an image that will almost certainly be a lot more subservient and dependent, an image where we all look to the government for our wants and needs, a government controlled by the Democrats forever.
So it's time to change the argument. It can't be about policy results anymore. Dems lost that on day one when Joe eliminated all Trump's border policies. How'd that work out for you? Feel free to answer in Spanish. So Dems prove to us that all of this is not unintentional. Why would an entire political party design a system so awful? See, our job is not to answer that. It's the Dems. They're the architects. All I've done is change the argument. It's no longer, "you don't want a real border. Oh, yes we do." No, that ship has sailed and sunk.
Greg Gutfeld currently serves as host of Gutfeld! (weeknights, 11PM-12AM/ET) and co-host of cable news’ highest-rated program The Five (weekdays, 5-6PM/ET).