First son Hunter Biden was found guilty on all charges Tuesday
So prior to a jury finding Hunter Biden guilty in his gun trial, his defense found an unlikely ally, the Second Amendment. You know, the thing that Democrats hate more than they hate soap.
Last week, in a last ditch effort, Hunter asked the charges be dropped because the questionnaire he filled out violated his Second Amendment rights. Hunter's legal team argued that the question asking if he was a druggie was unconstitutional, and the state had no right to infringe on his Second Amendment rights just because he did a little dope and by a little dope, I don't mean George Stephanopoulos. I mean, so much coke even Scarface would have recommended rehab.
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Still, the defense has a point. So why is it unconstitutional? Well, they argued that historical intoxication statutes cannot stretch far enough to justify disarming a sober citizen based exclusively on past drug use. And that, sorry, makes sense. Is it constitutional for the government to remove the Second Amendment rights of a person based on an interpretation of a subjective standard? An addict is subjective.
Hunter Biden arrives to federal court with his wife, Melissa Cohen Biden, Tuesday, June 11, 2024, in Wilmington, Del. (AP Photo/Matt Rourke)
Moreover, you don't lose the First Amendment right because you do drugs, so why would you lose the second? It's a preconditional right, a higher authority of law that displaces lower laws whenever they come into conflict. So let's forget about Hunter, the same law would bar a wounded vet who uses cannabis for pain from exercising his right to self-defense. Imagine a person in recovery who now owns guns. Should he go to jail? Never mind that this ruling dissuades people from going to treatment or seeking mental health help. I need it. Just reading that.
Now, did Hunter break the law? Sure, but it's an unjust law. So you can disagree with me, but you're really disagreeing with the Second Amendment. It shall not be infringed. Period. But if that sounds familiar to you, then you must be paying attention to our very own Kat Timpf. Roll the flashback, flashback dude.
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KAT TIMPF, JUNE 4: You can make the argument instead that this isn't constitutional, because the Second Amendment doesn't have an exception in it for if you're addicted to something. So you could make the argument that his Second Amendment rights are being violated, which it would be funny to see Joe Biden essentially asking the court to make that argument.
Hmmm. Kat's next book. The rules say, you only applaud for me during the monologue. But Kat's next book should be called: How I Tried to Keep Hunter Out of Jail. But imagine that, the son of a Democrat president suddenly puts on an NRA hat. They say politics makes strange bedfellows. Well, for the Second Amendment's sake, I hope Hunter wore a condom. I don't want the Second Amendment getting genital warts.
President Joe Biden hugs his son Hunter Biden upon arrival at Delaware Air National Guard Base in New Castle, Delaware, on June 11, 2024, following Hunter's conviction on federal gun charges.
So, while the verdict might be bad news for Hunter, it's also bad news for the Second Amendment. He was found guilty of being in possession of a firearm as a drug user or addict. But there's many, many Americans who fall into this amorphous category, but it offers Trump a golden opportunity to condemn it and put the Democrats in a box. If Trump calls this unconstitutional and the Dems agree, suddenly they're on the side of the Second Amendment, but if they don't, that forces them to applaud the guilty verdict of the president's son. I'll bet his dad would love that.
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So, what of the commander in soiled briefs? He claimed he wouldn't pardon Hunter, but the odds of Joe remembering, he said, that are slimmer than the odds of Michael Loftus wearing underwear. I'd say it's just another. I'd say it's just another headache for Joe, but that assumes he has feelings above the neckline. Here's Joe at a Juneteenth event last night.
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Now was that Joe or a statue of Joe. If he was any more frozen, Hamas protesters would have spray-painted "intifada" on his face. At this point, the best they can do for him is unplug him, wait five minutes, then reboot before calling tech support. You want to hear some words? Here's Joe, today at a gun summit. A gun control summit, he's talking about you gun owners.
PRESIDENT BIDEN, JUNE 11: By the way, if they want to think they, is, to take on government, if we get out of line, which there's talking on again about, well, guess what, they need F-15s, they don't need a rifle.
What the **** did he just say? I kind of know what he said, but still. It's not about what you need, dude. It's your right to have a rifle and yet, this is the guy who believed January 6th was an insurrection. Apparently, we shouldn't worry because he has F-16s or F-15s. He's effed up. And so Joe's approval ratings are dropping faster than Jerry Nadler's boobs when his bra comes off.
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Even Liberal election forecaster Nate Silver is suggesting the unthinkable: Biden drop out, just like he did in 88', when Dems went with a more marketable candidate, Michael Dukakis. Silver says "Biden just hit a [new] all-time low in approval (37.4%)... Dropping out would be a big risk, but there are some thresholds below which continuing to run is a bigger risk... Dems would have been better served if Biden had decided a year ago not to seek a second term... And give voters a say among the many popular Democrats across the country." Yeah, the many popular Democrats, what? I hope Nate doesn't fill out a gun application soon because apparently he's high too.
Who do they have? This guy? Oh, he looks like the tennis pro who gave the entire country club chlamydia. This chuckle monster? I've seen whoopee cushions with more depth. This guy? As transportation secretary, the only thing he transported was illegal immigrants on midnight flights. Talk about a shallow bench, they make "Fox & Friends" look like the Supreme Court. So what's Joe thinking?
TOM SHILLUE AS BIDEN: No no no no. Look, look, no, no, nobody steps down. I'm not going anywhere. That's not the way you do it. You. You're going to beat me, you got to run against me. Nobody wants to do it right. Who they got? The California guy with the hair and the teeth. Come on. The only one who likes him is him. And, we got VP lady, laughfy Kathy, good luck with that. And, the mayor guy, judge booty Pete. He can't be me. Nobody respects him and it's not because he's gay either, it's because he's not a real judge.
Greg Gutfeld currently serves as host of Gutfeld! (weeknights, 11PM-12AM/ET) and co-host of cable news’ highest-rated program The Five (weekdays, 5-6PM/ET).
