GREG GUTFELD: The only thing that gets Dems to act like adults is the fear they will lose to Trump

Happy Monday, everybody. So, like anyone who ever bought a book by Brian Kilmeade, we understand buyer's remorse. And these days, nobody gets that better than your average Democrat. As Joe Biden continues his worldwide confusion tour, more and more voters have taken to steaming that "dump Trump" sticker off their Priuses. In a brand new poll, Donald Trump now leads Joe Biden in five of six swing states that Trump lost in 2020. Oh, look at that. I haven't seen so many people regret a decision since CNN gave $9 million bucks to Chris Wallace. Apparently, many Dems have started to notice what none of us were supposed to, that things were far better and safer under Donald Trump than Joe Biden. You remember those days? When your car wasn't stolen and your son wasn't pregnant? True, like watching "The View" talk about their weight loss, the disparity between what you're told is true and the evidence of our own eyes has become impossible to ignore. And now even liberal thought leaders are starting to sound about as coherent as the voices in Kamala's head after 3 hours of vaping window cleaner. Recently, on the podcast "Triggernometry," philosopher Sam Harris, who's an expert at being simultaneously wrong and sanctimonious, had this to say about Trump. 

SAM HARRIS: When you think of all the things we didn't get done and will not get done for every moment we spend dealing with the divisiveness of Trumpism and the counter-reaction from the left, I mean, it's just it's just a massive opportunity cost. So, no, I think it's... There's nothing good. Even if you can find some local instance where Trump was right about something and the Democrats were wrong, he's he's totally right about the southern border. 

Migrants wait in line adjacent to the border fence under the watch of the Texas National Guard to enter into El Paso, Texas, Wednesday, May 10, 2023. (AP Photo/Andres Leighton, File)

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Oh. So, like, opening that igloo cooler with your Tinder date's head in it. Let's unpack that. Harris says that Israel got attacked because America took its eye off the ball. Trump was so awful a person that half the country just couldn't entertain his ideas. It's the intellectual equivalent of putting your hands over your ears and making siren noises. Well, now, of course, this ignores the fact that there was another half of the country that didn't have its hands over its ears and could hear President Trump. But we know that half doesn't exist for guys like Harris. They're just the people who drive as Uber and bring his coffee order. You know, like Jimmy Failla does for me. And it also shows how insane Trump derangement syndrome was. What Harris is saying is that, yes, the world was safer under Trump, but I'd rather have World War III than mean tweets. At least that gets rid of my personal angst. Harris then admits that one of the left's favorite unsupported charges against Trump, his supposed racism, was used to discredit even the ideas that they agreed with. 

HARRIS: There's absolutely no defense of having an indefensible border. We should know who's coming into the country. Build the wall. I mean, if the wall is the best way to secure that border, then build that wall, right? So Trump's right about that. But he's such an awful human being and his effect on our politics is so toxic that we can't even... that half of our society has to treat that completely sane project as a form of racism because they're reacting to the the big golem of Trump. 

Now, only an intellectual could sound so dumb. We need a wall and we know it but let's call Trump a racist to make sure we don't get it. He's saying he was wrong because he's biased but that's good. Congratulations, you got tenure. Meanwhile, the rest of us knew Trump wasn't racist. I mean, how could someone who hates people of color spend 40 grand a year on bronzing cream? When you listen to Harris, it's like asking the cop who he voted for before he pulls you from that burning car. Here's the point. Even after voting Trump out of office, liberals are still obsessed with him. The panic never stopped. If I were a therapist, I would treat Democrats this way. Please show me on this doll where Trump hurt you. They would all point to their head.

Former President Donald Trump speaks at NRA rally (Associated Press/Michael Wyke)

Talk about missed opportunity costs. The Biden administration, the legacy media, and even our great philosophers just can't quit you, Donald. So it's not Trump at all, it's their psyche. Which means to me, if you liked Trump's policies but hated the constant presence of Trump, you should still vote Trump anyway, because whether he wins or not, the obsession will still always be there. So, you have a choice: Trump obsession and Biden politics or Trump obsession and Trump policies. See, like Joe Biden, it's a no-brainer. Fact is, it's Biden who continues to take his squinty eyes off the ball. Too bad that ball doesn't have blond hair and the fragrance of baby shampoo-- that would keep his attention. But do you think the Hamas attack would have happened if we weren't focusing on Ukraine's border 24/7? 

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If we weren't consumed by the White House's embrace of identity politics? If we weren't fearful over rampant crime in our cities? If we had to worry about being canceled or worse, being jailed over beliefs? Instead, we got all of that, plus Trump derangement but without the Trump policy. So we get the whining and paranoia without the hard line on Islamic radicalism, the relationship with Israel and the iron fist on immigration. Look, if we're going to have to hear all this bellyaching, can we at least feel safe while doing it? 

Now, it's nice that Sam Harris was willing to say the left's quiet part out loud, but that doesn't change the fact that what he admits the Dems have been doing is entirely dishonest and has made this country much less safe. Nobody is afraid of us anymore. Our president has become a punchline in our country. A punching bag. If the world was Jada Pinkett, we'd be Will Smith. But voters are waking up as wars break out everywhere, they're suddenly missing the president, whose terribly mean demeanor actually kept the world in line. But there's another strange thing happening. 

Even when Trump's out of power, the fear of him ascending is already changing behavior. Dems realize they can't fight two wars. They can't let violent felons roam free. They can't let our border collapse. It seems the only thing that gets Dems to act like adults is the fear that they will lose to that childish Trump. In a way, they're like a guy who traded in his big muscle car for a little electric Mini Cooper. But suddenly the guy's missing all that muscle, all that power, the roar of that V8 engine. Sure, it was noisy, and sometimes it was annoying, and yeah, it was orange. But you know what? Every other car on the road gets the hell out of its way. And now it's time maybe Biden do the same.

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Greg Gutfeld currently serves as host of Gutfeld! (weeknights, 11PM-12AM/ET) and co-host of cable news’ highest-rated program The Five (weekdays, 5-6PM/ET).