America took a straw vote and picked Trump to do away with silliness like paper in our drinks
Jimmy Reacts To Trump's Plan To Ditch Paper Straws On 'America's Newsroom'
During an appearance on "America's Newsroom", Jimmy Failla gives his take on a few of the recent executive orders signed by President Trump.
President Donald Trump's executive order banning paper straws might be the biggest bi-partisan win of his presidency and to quote former President Joe Biden, "that's not hyperbole." Let’s face it folks, Americans don’t agree on a lot these days. Take the Super Bowl halftime show for instance. Some people thought Kendrick Lamar was amazing, others hated it so much they'd rather watch a DEI Musical that USAID sent to Ireland.
But when it comes to paper straws, pretty much everybody knows they suck, and not in the way they were meant to. The president said as much, telling onlookers in the Oval Office, "These things don't work, I've had them many times, and on occasion, they break, they explode. If something's hot, they don't last very long, like a matter of minutes, sometimes a matter of seconds. It's a ridiculous situation."
Trump's running commentary is a big part of each signing ceremony, along with his practice of giving away the pen he used, like a guitarist who throws a pic into the crowd after shredding a vicious solo at a rock concert.
First there was Bon Jovi, now there's DON Jovi.
President Donald Trump ended the push to restrict the use of plastic straws. It was about time. (AP/Getty)
But if ever there was a time for the president to take a stage dive, it's now.
Nobody likes paper straws and to quote the anti-DOGE Democrats, "we didn't vote for this."
Simply put, they were forced on the country by environmentalists who used what can best be described as sketchy scientific claims, including one about sharks eating the plastic straws and choking on them.
Forgive me if I missed the "Jaws" sequel where they took out the great white with a soda from the McDonald’s drive thru, but at least the shark got to taste that Tab cola, which was never an option for those of us humans using paper.
Now I know it wasn't just sharks threatened by the plastic. There was a similar claim about turtles, which I am not an expert on, although I did meet Sen. Mitch McConnell, R-Ky., once.
Having said that, there's still no logic to support the argument that fish or reptiles might be harmed by plastic, so we should switch to dissolvable paper instead.
Repeat after me:
If a straw dissolves in liquid, then so do your hopes of enjoying a beverage with one.
But if ever there was a time for the president to take a stage dive, it's now.
It's 10 times worse if you have kids.
Take one walk through a mall food court, and you'll quickly realize that paper straws are responsible for more childish screaming fits than AOC's Instagram account.
Never mind the insanity that some paper straws are packaged inside plastic rappers, which is like holding an AA meeting inside a Hooters.
There's also the small matter that paper straws cost more to produce, which places an undue burden on restaurants at a time when many studies show that straws made from plant-based materials have more harmful chemicals than their plastic partners.
President Joe Biden bowed to environmental extremists and foisted the paper straw on Americans. (Anna Moneymaker)
To be clear, this is an opinion piece, and I'm not a climate expert, although I do fantasize about becoming one someday so I can fly around in private jets.
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But I'm pretty sure the only reason Biden signed his executive order banning plastics was because, if anything, he thought the paper straws would slow down the cocaine use in the White House.
I know, we never did find out whose booger sugar turned up in that locker. But it amazes me to this day that some Democrats get mad at Trump for having a Diet Coke button in his White House when Biden had regular coke in his.
Regardless of which president you voted for, we should all agree that this latest executive order is a YUGE win.
Never mind the insanity that some paper straws are packaged inside plastic rappers, which is like holding an AA meeting inside a Hooters.
Because in the end, kids can stop throwing karate kicks at their Capri Suns because the straw broke. Parents can stop racing to finish frappuccinos before the straw disintegrates. And yes, the climate crusaders who want to virtue signal one sip at a time can still use those stainless-steel straws that allow for recycling.
It's called freedom, people.
And we can all drink to that.
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Jimmy Failla is host of FOX News Saturday Night (Saturdays, 10 PM/ET) and FOX News Radio program "FOX Across America" which airs weekdays from 12-3 PM/ET. Failla is also author of the FOX News Books title, "Cancel Culture Dictionary."
