Retailer's Revenge! Obese Jewelry Thief Gets Whipped Then Stripped

We're not exactly known for exuding optimism, but we can't help but notice a promising micro-trend in which more and more fed-up American retailers and bystanders are thwarting rampant thievery with delicious displays of force. 

Last month, we wrote about the 7-Eleven workers in California who absolutely pummeled a man who'd been filling a rolling garbage can with tobacco products while calling the workers "bitch-ass niggas." Now, in two more heartwarming episodes, employees at a Los Angeles jewelry store put a fierce end to a man's attempt at a daylight smash-and-grab robbery, and bystanders in Scottsdale detained a gem thief. 

The first story's action kicked off a little after 2pm on Saturday at Meza's Jewelry in, El Monte, which is on the east side of LA. Police told KABC7 that the as-yet unidentified thief entered the store with a hammer, attacked some of the staffers with pepper spray and smashed a display case. 

Thieves, take note: Family-owned businesses are far more likely to strike back than the big-boxers, as the obese thief who targeted Meza's jewelry quickly found out. "Me, my uncle and my dad were tugging him out," an employee told KABC. "I was trying to defend my family because as you could see he was hitting my dad and my uncle." 

In the video, shot from the sidewalk, we see a struggle that turns into a beating reminiscent of the forementioned 7-11 heroics, as the thief is repeatedly whacked with a long stick. As he slowly pushes his flabby body through the doorway, he ends up having his shirt removed, and he flees down the sidewalk with bosoms a-jiggle and --  consistent with the norms of his vibrant American subculture -- his pants falling down.    

California is a shoplifters paradise. First, the state passed a proposition making any theft under $950 a misdemeanor. As if that weren't bad enough, the state's senate passed a bill in June that would actually make it illegal to interfere with shoplifters. 

Adding to our detection of a trend in the making, the weekend brought news of another tale of citizens pursuing justice in another case where a jewelry store was targeted. In this case, the thief ran out of a Scottsdale, Arizona store with a tray of treasures, only to be stopped by noble bystanders. 

"[They were] screaming 'just catch him! He just robbed the jewelry store!' So we just grabbed him, held him down, and the police were here within three to four minutes," one of those bystanders, who only was identified as Mark, told FOX10. 

"They saved my product, saved the neighborhood, and I want to thank everybody that sacrificed themselves to help a neighbor or stranger that they didn’t know," said Anna Marina Solakian, of Marina Jewelry. Fifty-three-year-old Troy Bell was arrested. 

Finally, to keep the smiles rolling, here's another look at last month's 7-Eleven beatdown extraordinaire: 

    View this post on Instagram           

A post shared by 5 element phd (@yo_folkers)