Man shared on social media that he hates wasting food and his mother did not listen
A Reddit user who claimed he threw his mother out of his house after she kept wasting his food was right to do so after his boundaries were repeatedly violated, a relationship expert told Fox News Digital about the situation.
Reddit user "Ok_Lavishness_3277" shared his unusual story on Monday, March 11, in the subreddit known as AITA ("Am I the A--hole").
In the post, titled "AITA for asking my mother to leave because she won't stop wasting my food," the man said his sister just had a child and his mother had come to help her out — but was staying with him, since his sister's apartment was too small.
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"I agreed to let her stay with me since I live only eight blocks away. It's walkable. My plan was to Uber her over in the morning and pick her up after work," the man wrote.
However, his mother was bothered by his eating habits, he wrote in his account. During the week, he apparently eats only one meal a day, at dinner time.
The Reddit user's mother made him breakfast every day even though he didn't want her to do that. (iStock)
"I have coffee for breakfast and some fruit for lunch. On Saturday I treat myself to a good breakfast, and [on] Sundays, I take the woman I'm dating for brunch," he said.
Even though he does not eat breakfast, his mother "got up early and went through my fridge and freezer to make me breakfast," the man wrote.
"I told her that I appreciate[d] it, but that I do not usually eat breakfast," he said.
"She said that was stupid. I very clearly communicated to her that she was welcome to eat anything in my home, but to please not make me breakfast, as it was a waste."
Undeterred, his mother made him breakfast again the next day, which he did not eat — then his mother threw it away rather than save it for later.
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"I told her once more to please not waste my food," the man said. In a follow-up comment, Ok_Lavishness_3277 said he was diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder as a child.
The next day, his mother again made him breakfast — which apparently prompted him to ask her if she "was developing dementia."
"I told her once more to please not waste my food."
"She is wasting my food for no good reason. I'm not poor or anything, but wasting food is a pet peeve of mine," he said.
"She said I was being ungrateful for her help and she was doing it to be nice since I was letting her stay with me."
Ok_Lavishness_3277 once again said he "did not need, want, require or desire breakfast during the week. She said she understood."
But, "she made me breakfast the next day. I had had enough. I took her luggage with me when I dropped her off at my sister's home," he said — and alerted his doorman that his mother was no longer welcome.
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"I got so many messages from her and my sister all day long. Even my dad called me to ask me to change my mind. I said no," the man wrote. His father came up and rented an AirBnb with his mother.
Ok_Lavishness_3277's actions split his family.
"My sister came over alone to talk to me. She said I was being a complete [jerk] and that I could afford the food my mom was wasting," he said.
"I said I could but that I didn't want to. She literally used up two months' worth of my food. She made up huge breakfasts that I didn't even eat."
The mother made her adult son breakfast for several days, despite her son's repeated requests that he "did not need, want, require or desire breakfast during the week." (iStock)
His father, the man wrote, asked him to allow his mother back into his house.
"I said I would under the condition that she understand that my food is completely off limits to her. She can pay for her own food," he wrote. "I said I would make room in the fridge and freezer for her. She said I was being ridiculous and petty."
Fox News Digital reached out to Ok_Lavishness_3277 for updates or further comments on his story.
In the meantime, the father is "staying neutral" on the situation, and his "girlfriend thinks the whole thing is hilarious," the man said.
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Nicole Moore, a relationship expert based in California, told Fox News Digital in an email that "the best way to deal with a family member who is controlling and wasting food is to do exactly what this man has done."
She added, "After he repeatedly set a boundary and made requests of his mother to stop cooking food, he took a more drastic measure to let her know he is serious."
"At the end of the day, the son is making an entirely reasonable request and his boundary does not harm his mother or his family in any way, so it should be respected."
"Communicating a boundary multiple times is always the best first step in dealing with a controlling family member, because sometimes they need to hear the message more than once to let it sink in."
After a person has shown repeatedly that he or she will not respect boundaries, "then removing yourself or them from the situation is a smart move," said the relationship expert.
In the post, the Reddit user said he typically only has coffee for breakfast each morning. (iStock)
"At the end of the day, the son is making an entirely reasonable request and his boundary does not harm his mother or his family in any way — so it should be respected," said Moore.
Reddit users largely agreed with this professional take on the situation.
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On the AITA subreddit, people can reply to posts and indicate the poster is "NTA" ("Not the A--hole"), "YTA" ("You're the A--hole"), "NAH" ("No A--holes Here") or "ESH" ("Everyone Sucks Here").
Users can "upvote" responses they think are helpful and "downvote" ones that are not.
Reddit users said that Ok_Lavishness_3277's actions were extreme, but that he was not wrong for wanting his personal boundaries respected. (iStock)
In the nearly 800 responses so far to the post, most people were in support of the man's position, saying that his response, while drastic, was necessary for the situation at hand.
"Sounds more like your mother was initiating a power play, and that she would have continued wasting your food (which she KNEW bothered you, but that was the point) until you capitulated. Then she would have ‘won,’" said Reddit user "PendragonINTJ" in the top-upvoted reply.
The same commenter continued, "You throwing her out was inconvenient, so of course you had to be the Bad Guy. But that shouldn't have been necessary if your mother had been the least bit reasonable."
In another top comment, Reddit user "somerandomshmo" said, "She's trying to mother a grown adult. It's not dementia, she just refuses to accept her little boy grew up and has his own life. NTA."
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Christine Rousselle is a lifestyle reporter with Fox News Digital.
