Relationship experts told Fox News Digital the situation should inspire a closer look at the family dynamics
A Reddit user who did not invite his sister's dog to his wedding is not wrong to want to exclude his sister from the event altogether, two family therapists told Fox News Digital.
"AITA for not inviting my sister to my wedding because she always brings her dog?" asked Reddit user "ThinkerofLimgrad" in a June 27 post on "Am I the A--hole" subreddit.
In his post, the individual said he's a 26-year-old man who is getting married in a few months.
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"One of the issues I've run into is my sister (28F) and her dog," he wrote.
"My sister is obsessed with her dog, a large and somewhat poorly trained Bernese mountain dog." He added that the dog is "cute but a demon."
The Reddit user said that he and his fiancée (not pictured) did not want his sister's Bernese mountain dog to be at their wedding. (iStock)
His sister "takes it everywhere with her, including family gatherings, despite the fact that many of us have asked her not to," the man wrote.
Previously, the dog caused "a lot of problems," said ThinkerofLimgrad, including knocking over guests and destroying party decorations.
"At our family's holiday dinner last year, it ate part of the turkey off the table when no one was looking," the man wrote. "My sister always brushes it off, saying her dog is just energetic and friendly."
She "said that if her dog isn't welcome, she isn't coming either."
When the soon-to-be-married man sent out the wedding invitations, he declined to include the dog in the invite.
"I know she will bring it anyway if I just ask her not to, so I told her that she can't bring the dog and that if she does, she won't be allowed in," he said — which made his sister "furious."
She "said that if her dog isn't welcome, she isn't coming either" — and said that he did not care about her happiness.
"My parents think I should just let her bring the dog to keep the peace, but my fiancée and I are firm on this," wrote ThinkerofLimgrad, adding that the couple "want our wedding to be a calm and beautiful day without any chaos."
The sister's Bernese mountain dog (not pictured) is "large and somewhat poorly trained," wrote the man who's about to be married. (iStock)
He noted, "I’ve tried to compromise by suggesting she find a pet sitter for the day, but she refused and insists that her dog is part of the family."
Fox News Digital reached out to ThinkerofLimgrad for any updates about the situation.
Two family relationship experts told Fox News Digital on Thursday that the man is not being unreasonable by excluding his sister's dog from his wedding day – and that there may be deeper issues at play than just a dog.
"This is a classic example of dysfunctional family dynamics," Nina Batista, a Florida-based relationship and trauma therapist, said via email.
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Additionally, "there seems to be a lack of firm boundaries and respect for boundaries," she said.
"Ultimately," Batista said, "it is your wedding, it is your day, you decide what you are willing and unwilling to tolerate."
"It is your wedding, it is your day, you decide what you are willing and unwilling to tolerate."
If ThinkerofLimgrad is OK with his sister not attending the wedding if her dog cannot come, then he should "stick firm" on that, she said.
Another therapist offered a similar sentiment, saying the situation involves more than just a dog.
The Reddit user (not pictured) said his parents told him he should allow the dog to come to the wedding to "keep the peace" and appease his sister. (iStock)
"It's about family relationships and how we communicate our needs," Brianna Paruolo, a New York-based therapist, said in an email.
The man on Reddit "is right to set boundaries, but it's normal to feel guilty," Paruolo said.
When speaking to his family, "it's a great idea for [ThinkerofLimgrad] to use 'I' statements," she said.
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"For example, he could say something like, 'I want my wedding day to be special, and I'm worried about how the dog might affect that. Can we talk about how to make this work for everyone?'" Paruolo said.
Further, "It might help to dig deeper into why this is such a big deal for [the] sister," Paruolo said, as well as why the young people's parents are taking sides in the situation.
"Sometimes, small arguments like this are actually about bigger family issues that haven't been talked about," she said.
The dog belonging to the sister has caused issues at family events in the past, said the man. (iStock)
As the wedding day approaches, ThinkerofLimgrad should "keep talking openly and honestly," which just might "solve the dog problem and strengthen his relationship with his sister and parents," Paruolo said.
"Who knows? This wedding planning challenge could actually bring the family closer together in the long run," she said.
ThinkerofLimgrad's story received over 800 responses within hours of its posting – with most people saying he is not wrong for wanting a dog-free wedding.
"NTA. 'Keep the peace.' This simply means, 'Your wishes mean nothing and your sister's wishes mean everything.' Your parents would prefer a pretense of a happy family and a ruined wedding than any sort of perceived 'bad blood,'" said Reddit user "FuzzyMom2005" in the top reply to the post.
Reddit users largely sided with the man who is about to be married — and who said he would like to have a calm, dog-free wedding. (iStock)
FuzzyMom2005 continued, "Ignore the bullying. Get security to make sure your sister doesn't show up at the wedding or reception. Tell your parents this is not your sister's day and if they can't see that, they can stay home, too."
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Another Reddit user encouraged ThinkerofLimgrad to stick to his beliefs.
"NTA - I love my dog and call her my 'child,' but there's no way I would bring her to a wedding! Stay firm," said user "UnfairMilk8555."
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"Also, your sister might need some therapy. And your parents need to step up and respect you as well," said the same commenter.
"They should tell your sister that the day isn't about her, and that if she wants to keep the peace, she should leave her dog at home."
Christine Rousselle is a lifestyle reporter with Fox News Digital.
