Food feud ignites after dinner out but runs much deeper: 'Knew her family had this issue'
A food fight within a family has gone viral, with a young man asking for insight into an awkward situation for him that occurred at a restaurant recently — though the issue appears far bigger and more challenging than just one night's experience suggests.
"Every other week, my fiancée (22F) and I (23M) go out to eat with her family, and last week, we went to a Korean BBQ restaurant owned by my uncle … I paid for everyone's meal," wrote the young man on the popular Reddit page known as AITA ("Am I the a--hole?").
In the subject line of his post, he asked others, "AITA for deciding not to buy food for my fiancée's family anymore?"
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He wrote, "I only asked them to cover the tip for the waitress, which they agreed to do so. The total bill was over $240, and I paid."
He then added, "Usually, when I cover the tab for my friends or significant other, they generously tip, since they're only responsible for the gratuity, not the cost of the meal itself."
"I only asked them to cover the tip for the waitress, which they agreed to do so. The total bill was over $240, and I paid," wrote a young man on social media about a recent experience out at a restaurant with his fiancée and her family. Things did not go as planned for him. (iStock)
He went on, "However, a few days ago, my cousins (21M) revealed that they had only left a $1 tip and they have tipped only $1 dollar before."
Said the man, going by the user name "totallynotpornact" on Reddit, "I was shocked and disappointed because a $1 tip is insultingly low, especially considering I had treated them to alcohol and dessert. So, I discussed this issue with my fiancée — but her family insists they never tip or only pay like $1 dollar for [a] tip at restaurants [and] general services. This is happening in the USA," he added.
"Her family insists they never tip or only pay like $1 dollar for [a] tip at restaurants [and] general services. This is happening in the USA."
The young man continued, "As a result, I informed my fiancée our bi-weekly restaurant outings would have to change … I told her that I had only paid for their meals as a kind gesture. While my fiancée was annoyed, she ultimately understood."
The story continued: "Yesterday, they asked if I would buy their food again next week, to which I responded that they'll need to cover their own expenses for their meal."
The man told others, "They also suggested that since my family is wealthy, it's only fair that I continue paying for their meals." (iStock)
He added, "I didn't want to confront them about their habit of tipping only a dollar, so I decided to handle it differently this time and simply pretend to cover the tip for them. Her family did not [take] that so well."
He went on, "They accused me of being ungrateful, arguing that they were the ones taking time to meet up with me bi-weekly and that asking them to tip was unreasonable in the beginning. They also suggested that since my family is wealthy, it's only fair that I continue paying for their meals."
"They also suggested that since my family is wealthy, it's only fair that I continue paying for their meals."
Said the man, "My fiancée was surprisingly on my side. She knew her family had this issue. She just didn't have [the] courage to inform them about it."
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So, he asked others, was he wrong for "deciding not to buy food for my fiancée's family anymore?"
Fox News Digital reached out to a psychologist for insight into the issue.
Over 60% of consumers think of a tip as something they should give when they feel like it — rather than an obligation every time. (iStock)
While most people would agree with the original poster that a $1 tip is shockingly low and unacceptable in most situations, a large majority of people — nearly 75% — also think that tipping has gotten "out of control," according to a recent survey by WalletHub, as FOX Business recently reported.
Over 60% of consumers also think of a tip as something to give when they feel like it — rather than an obligation every time, according to the survey results. About half of respondents said they often leave a tip because of "social pressure" rather than good service.
"You don’t owe these people anything. They are trying to take advantage of you. Stop letting them try."
Nearly 70% of people believe that tips should only get split between the employees who provide the service, while 78% believe automatic tipping charges should be banned, according to the data.
Melissa Dallas, professor emeritus, department of hospitality leadership at Missouri State University, is in agreement with survey respondents, saying "the tipping culture has become out of control" and it's partly because of the reduced profit margins experienced by many businesses in recent years, FOX Business noted.
"Lemme make sure I understand this," wrote one responder to the family's drama about a tipping ordeal. "Every other week, you take them out to dinner and pay for their meals ... and they have the nerve to call you ‘ungrateful’??" (AP Newsroom)
It's become more common "for consumers to select their percentage to tip starting at 15% at a minimum," she said.
On Reddit, the young man who shared his family drama gave an update.
He wrote, "I didn't break up with her, but her family is furious … They refuse to talk to me. They've called my fiancée multiple times, saying things like, 'Is this how Koreans do their business?' and suggesting she should break up with [me], along with other offensive and more racist remarks."
"Her family is furious … They refuse to talk to me."
More than 8,000 people reacted to his post, with some 1,200 offering comment and reaction. He was deemed not in the wrong by others on the platform.
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The top "upvoted" response was, "You don’t owe these people anything. They are trying to take advantage of you. Stop letting them try."
Another person chimed in with, "Your fiancée knew her family only left a $1 tip on [a] $240 meal and she didn’t put in the tip herself? Think carefully, [original poster]."
"I strongly urge you to reconsider your future together," said one person to the young man (not pictured) who described a family feud over dining and tipping practices. (iStock)
And still another individual who commented tried to level with the young man about what this particular commenter envisions on the horizon.
"They have an unreasonably high opinion of themselves."
"Lemme make sure I understand this ... Every other week, you take them out to dinner and pay for their meals ... and they have the nerve to call you ‘ungrateful’?? Because ‘they are the ones taking time to meet up with you’? They have an unreasonably high opinion of themselves, and you are NTA [not the a--hole] here."
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The person went on: "You need to set them straight, right now. If you don't, this is your life in three years: You've married her, and now her family insists that because your family is wealthy, it's ‘only fair’ that you pay for their dream vacation / new car / vacation home in the Hamptons / whatever."
The same commenter added this "warning": "The ‘them’ part of ‘set them straight’ might include your fiancée as well, if she's supporting/condoning this behavior. If she does, I strongly urge you to reconsider your future together."
Daniella Genovese of Fox News Digital contributed reporting.
For more Lifestyle articles, visit www.foxnews.com/lifestyle.
Maureen Mackey is managing editor of lifestyle for Fox News Digital.
